Victoria's Story

Victoria and Michael

Most nights, Victoria makes people laugh as a stand-up comedian—about everything from awkward first dates to weird things people say when they’re nervous and trying to be charming.  But under the stage lights, no one knows she had once made the most serious decision of her life—long before any punchline ever landed.  Beneath the improv sets and her quick-witted persona was a quiet decision that might surprise her audience: she had chosen to save herself for marriage. 

Victoria is one of five children who grew up in Brooklyn.  She is a third-generation Sephardic Jew who is Syrian, Tunisian, and Lebanese.  She grew up attending yeshiva, like most of the community around her.  It was there she learned the values that shaped her—modesty, honor, and the importance of family dignity.  From a young age, her dream was simple: she wanted to get married.  Saving herself wasn’t something forced on her.  It was a choice she believed in and wanted to protect.

When Victoria started dating, most men didn’t stick around past the second date.  They wanted sex to be part of the process—a way to get closer, or so they said.  But she could tell they weren’t serious.  Victoria was clear and confident about her boundaries.  She believed real connection came from conversation, not physical intimacy, and that getting to know someone’s personality without sex made the bond stronger.  She also believed that the more a woman understood herself, the more self-respect she gained.  And with that came a higher standard for how others treated her.

As a stand-up comic, Victoria often jokes about how she met her husband, Michael. At the time, she had just started working at a high-end jewelry store on Madison Avenue.

“I’m gonna work here, not for the money. I want a husband. This is a career—looking for a husband.”

Every man who walked into the store wasn’t just a customer—he was a potential husband. Not a boyfriend. A husband. When men came in to browse $100,000 watches, she treated it like an interview.

“So, are your parents Jewish?” she’d ask.

She referred to the store as her "headquarters" for dating.

At the time, Victoria had been dating a man in France and was preparing to visit him in Europe.  Her tickets were already purchased. But then Michael walked into the store, not to shop, but to sell gemstones. He wasn’t buying anything.

“I ended up marrying the most broke guy that ever walked into that place!” she tells her audience.

That’s just part of Victoria’s act—but the story behind it is real. Michael is an incredibly driven man. She says he has followed through on everything he set out to do, and more: he’s run ultramarathons, climbed Mt. Everest and another mountain in Nepal, completed Ironman races, and is now a successful businessman with a true visionary spirit.

At first, Michael liked Victoria more than she liked him—partly because she was still somewhat involved with someone else.  As Victoria quips, “Michael was American, and the other guy was French, and so Michael understood my jokes more!”

Eventually, she ended the other relationship and began dating Michael.  He fell for her fast.  In fact, after their second date, he told his grandmother and one of his friends that he was going to marry her.

Michael is a European Jew, which comes with a different cultural background from Victoria’s Sephardic heritage.  In her community, there was some stigma around marrying outside of the Sephardic tradition.  Even though both were Jewish, their customs differed--enough to make it feel almost like a “mixed marriage.”  For example, she doesn’t know Yiddish, but she knows Arabic.

They went out three nights in a row.  After their third date, Michael’s grandmother passed away.  Victoria attended the funeral the next day, and he was touched that she came.  At the time, Michael lived in New Jersey, but after his grandmother’s passing, he moved into her apartment in New York.  That made dating Victoria easier—no more long commutes—and they began seeing each other almost every day.  Spending so much time together helped them grow close quickly and gave them a solid foundation to really get to know each other.

When Victoria was dating Michael, she told him she wasn’t a car to be test-driven.  She believed that compatibility could be seen through other intimate and meaningful connections—like kissing, holding hands, and how their personalities aligned.  For her, those moments were deeply personal.  She also had practical reasons for her choices: she didn’t want to risk pregnancy or contract a disease.  Victoria stood firm in her values.  She didn’t give in to peer pressure, didn’t do drugs, and wasn’t interested in following the crowd.  That was simply who she was.

Victoria values strength and conviction, especially when it comes to something like telling a man she is not having sex before marriage.  She says, “You have to be bold about that.  You have to protect yourself.  No one should sway you.  No one should be able to get into your head and make you feel guilty about it.  Nobody needs to know anything you do or don’t do sexually with anyone.  Ever.  That should be private between you and the other person.”

When Victoria was in junior high school, one of her teachers presented progressive views on abortion that, to her, sent a confusing and harmful message.  The teacher encouraged the girls to support pro-choice views, asking them if they wanted control over their own bodies.  To Victoria, once a baby is growing inside, it’s no longer just her body—it’s someone else’s life, and therefore not her choice.  She believes that conversations about virginity and sexual values aren’t happening enough—neither between parents and children nor between men and women in dating relationships.  In her view, people should be thinking beyond one-night stands and considering more meaningful, long-term plans.

Victoria stayed true to her values, and Michael respected her decision to wait until marriage for physical intimacy.  They were married exactly 13 months after they met.

As with any marriage, difficulties are inevitable—even in the best relationships.  A couple’s success depends on how they handle those moments together.  Michael served time in jail for a white-collar offense, which was an emotionally difficult experience for both him and Victoria.  After his release several months later, he told her she should move on and forget about him, and he filed for divorce.  Victoria was devastated.  She said she came close to suicide, and that their three children were the only reason she held on.  Not long after, Michael apologized for what he said.  Together, they decided that the healthiest path forward was to separate while continuing to work on their marriage.

They lived apart for a few months—and during that time, they began dating each other again.  Michael would ask Victoria out to dinner, or they’d take walks together in the park.  He genuinely courted her.  Victoria, however, didn’t make it easy; she was tough on him.  Looking back, she believes that the breakup was the best thing that ever happened to them.  It forced them to grow and ultimately made their relationship stronger.  Reflecting on that period in her life, she says, “We really had to break in order to mend.”  Now, they are certain that they were meant to be together.

It was Victoria’s strong values that attracted the right man and laid the foundation for a marriage worth fighting for.  When they first met, Michael was drawn to Victoria’s confidence.  She believes that knowing who you are—and not feeling pressured to give in to others—is deeply attractive.  To her, self-assurance is one of the most compelling qualities a person can have.

She asserts, “Being shy in this world is a waste of time.  It’s not worth it.  It’s something you can definitely break out of.  You’ve got to have faith.  You’ve got to pray.  I pray to God, and good things happen.”

To stay true to your values and persevere, Victoria continues, “Ask for guidance from your Creator.”

She may make people laugh for a living, but Victoria knows that life isn’t always a joke, and she meets its everyday challenges with the same courage and conviction she brings to the stage.

Victoria wrote the book Impress Yourself to show that when you truly know and love yourself, you enter relationships as a whole, confident person.

Sophia's Story

Sophia and Chris

At the beginning of their relationship, Chris told Sophia that he wanted to court her with the intention of marriage.  Hearing the “M” word caught her off guard because she hadn’t seen many healthy marriages growing up and had resigned herself to the fact that it was not for her.  She was still healing from past relationship wounds.  Years earlier she had even prayed, “Lord, any desire that I have toward marriage or a relationship with intimacy with another person—take that away from me.”

Before they met…

While in law school in Mississippi, Chris had attended a vibrant church and was surrounded by other men of faith, which deepened his walk with the Lord.  He had been involved in some serious relationships in the past, but there were not any that he thought would lead to marriage.  During his first year of law school, he was encouraged by his fellowship group to attend a men’s conference where one of the speakers was Voddie Baucham, Jr., author of What He Must Be…If He Wants to Marry My Daughter.  The conference convicted him in a healthy way.  He heard that men should take marriage seriously and not toy with women’s hearts.  It was a wake-up call that made him reflect on his actions and realize he needed to be more committed in life and in relationships.

Sophia’s earlier perspective on relationships began to shift when she attended a discipleship ministry school in Tennessee, where she was living at the time.  One session focused on unforgiveness and praying for God’s will and provision.  That was when she felt the Holy Spirit speak to her heart: “Marriage is for you.”  She wrestled with that, thinking, “No, I really don’t want that.”  She even told the Lord that if she were ever to get married, He would have to make it happen because she wasn’t up to the idea at all.

When they met…

Not long after that, Sophia’s church hosted a worship night, and later, a group of her friends met up at Applebee’s.  She spotted someone she knew from the discipleship ministry school, and he was with a guy she didn’t recognize.  They had both come from the worship night as well.  She was introduced to the other guy—Chris. He mentioned how much he enjoyed the worship night, so she invited him to visit again for a Sunday service. He took her up on the invitation, and after the service, they exchanged email addresses. That was the beginning of their relationship.

As time went on, she rephrased her earlier prayer about marriage.  She asked God, “Lord, I only want You to bring those feelings back when it’s the one You have for me.”  Although many men pursued Sophia, she never felt that desire—until she met Chris.  When they began spending time together, those feelings instantly returned.

They talked every day and soon began dating. On their first date, Chris told Sophia that he was a student and didn’t have much money, but he wanted to be intentional about spending time with her, getting to know her, and seeing if they were truly compatible—all with the goal of moving toward marriage. The “M” word on the first date!  While this was scary for Sophia, it wasn’t unusual for Chris—he had already begun fasting, praying, reading scripture, and seeking wise counsel about the courtship process and finding a wife even before they met.  Then during one of their late-night phone conversations, as Chris prayed with her, Sophia felt the Holy Spirit move through his prayer and thought, “This man is going to be my husband.” He hadn’t asked yet, but she knew for certain.

Sophia and Chris both sensed that they were “the one” for each other.  They don’t believe in falling in love.  They believe in walking in love.  Sophia says, “One thing about falling is that there’s no sense of control.  When you fall, you can break something.  When you fall, sometimes you can catch yourself; sometimes you can’t.  With walking, you’re intentionally taking step after step.  You’re pacing yourself.  You know what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.”

Before officially beginning their courtship, Sophia and Chris were on a date and were discussing boundaries and expectations for their relationship, especially in the area of intimacy. They each took a napkin and, separately, wrote down what their expectations were—what their boundaries were, what they wanted to avoid, and what kind of relationship they desired. Both of them wanted to pursue purity. They longed for a courtship guided by God’s hand, one marked by integrity and intentionality.

When they exchanged napkins, they were amazed at how aligned their values were. Both had committed to saving sex for marriage. Neither wanted to engage in overly intimate kissing that could stir up desires they weren’t ready to act upon. They shared a deep desire not to let the lust of the flesh interfere with the path God was leading them down.

Sophia and Chris got engaged 3 ½ months after they met.  Then 2 months after that, they got married.

It is spiritual wisdom that lies at the heart of their marriage.  Chris believes that a man’s right preparation must be involved in the process of finding a wife: “Not the superficial, materialistic preparation, but the preparation that examines the heart, and transforms the mind, and gets you into a position as a man of being a protector, provider, priest, and prophet for your family.”  Sophia reflects, “People fall short when they don’t have Christ as the foundation and don’t invite the Holy Spirit into their relationship.”

To hear Sophia and Chris tell a detailed version of their beautiful testimony, watch it here.

Rachel's Story

Rachel and Caleb

As a young teenager, Rachel witnessed a bride and groom exchange vows, and when the pastor declared, “NOW, you may kiss the bride,” something stirred deep in her spirit. In that tender moment, the Lord gently placed a conviction on her heart to wait until her own wedding day for her first kiss.  She wasn’t excited about it at first but knew she was supposed to do it.  It wasn’t about rules or pressure but a quiet, personal decision rooted in love, trust, and the desire to honor God with her story.

It was instilled in her at a young age that dating was for the purpose of marriage.  Rachel wasn’t particularly interested in boys anyway.  She remembers one from kindergarten who was not nice to her at all.  There is even a yearbook photo where she’s in tears while he laughs behind her.  After that, her confidence was wounded, and she avoided boys for a long time. 

When Rachel was in junior high school, some of her friends started dating.  Watching from the sidelines, she saw kids her age getting dropped off by their parents at places like the donut shop and thought how silly that was—13-year-olds “going out” with big romantic dreams?  Nothing says true love like your mom dropping you off at McDonald’s and reminding you to use napkins!

During her senior year of high school, when boys showed interest in her, she drew back from them and stayed true to her decision not to date.  In doing so, she avoided many of the emotional pitfalls and regrets that often accompany adolescent relationships.

The following year, during an annual ministry conference in Texas that her family was deeply involved in, she felt spiritually grounded and secure in God’s timing, trusting that He was preparing both her and the one who would one day be her husband.  She was eager to meet him and found herself constantly on the lookout.  So, when a singles event was held during the week-long conference, Rachel and her friends decided to attend and connect with others their age.

Chelsey and her twin brother, Caleb, had traveled from Vermont to attend the conference and were also at the singles event.  During one of the games, Rachel was paired with Chelsey, and the two quickly became friends.  Rachel barely noticed Caleb.  He was a buzz-cut football player, not at all her type.  As someone more artsy and creative, she always imagined she’d attract someone more like herself. 

After Chelsey and Caleb returned home to Vermont, the two girls kept in touch through email.  Chelsey visited Rachel at college, and Rachel even went with Chelsey’s family to a ministry event in Missouri.  Over time, Rachel also began connecting with Caleb and found herself starting to become attracted to him.  But she didn’t enjoy the emotional ups and downs that came with liking someone, so when this happened, she would squash the feelings.  Committed to waiting for her future husband, she would rather not invest emotionally in someone unless she was sure he was the one.

One year, Caleb took a trip on his own to attend the annual conference, which was held in California that time.  He stayed with family friends since his own family couldn’t make it that year.  He had grown out his hair and lost the bulky football player build.  When Rachel saw him at one of the conference meetings, she didn’t recognize him at first.  But once she realized who he was, something shifted – she felt herself drawn to him.

During the trip to Missouri, Rachel shared a room with Chelsey. One night, after Chelsey had already fallen asleep, Rachel was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and quietly praying. “What is this?” she asked God. “If these feelings for Caleb aren’t from You, please take them away.” In that moment, a deep sense of peace settled over her.  She didn’t hear clear words from the Lord, just a quiet assurance that this was right. It felt like God was giving her the green light. The realization startled her—this was what she had been waiting and praying for, and now it was here. Overwhelmed, she walked into the other room, woke Chelsey, and told her that she believed Caleb to be ‘the one.’  “I knew it! I knew it!” Chelsey squealed with excitement.

No one told Caleb how Rachel felt.  She was waiting for the Lord to speak directly to him about it.  They were just friends at this point.  They texted regularly and started talking on the phone more.  He had dated a few girls before, including one serious relationship.  If it hadn’t been for his parents’ influence, he likely would have crossed physical boundaries that he didn’t want to. Like Rachel, he had made a personal decision to wait until marriage, but his journey looked different. While Rachel had strong role models—like someone who had committed not to kiss until she met the one God had for her—and a supportive community that helped guide her, Caleb had to navigate a much more secular environment.  In the locker room, he often heard crude talk and felt pressured to go along. One guy even told him, “You’ve got to see what’s under the hood,” to which Caleb replied, “Not when you’re buying new.”  Over time, he decided to stop dating altogether and had stayed committed to that decision for several years before he and Rachel began their relationship.

Caleb went down to Texas on a hunting trip, and that’s when God brought real clarity about Rachel.  Up to that point, Caleb still thought, "She’s not what I imagined." He had always pictured himself marrying a blonde, and definitely not someone artistic. In fact, he used to joke about people in the arts. He wasn’t initially physically attracted to Rachel; they had simply been friends. But part of the reason he went on that trip was to spend time with her. While there, he began praying, asking, "God, what is this?" Then the thought came: "I’ll just see where this relationship goes." God arrested him in that moment and told him, "You already know where this goes. You know what you're doing. Choose." Right then, Caleb said out loud, "I choose to love Rachel." And from that point on, something shifted—when he saw her again, the physical attraction was there. They had the benefit of having a long-distance relationship, which gave them the opportunity to get to know each other deeply, without the distraction of physical temptation.

Rachel began to recognize the divine order described in the Bible: spirit, soul, and body.  She said, “I believe that’s the progression God intended for relationships.” She and Caleb first connected spiritually, then emotionally—spending hours talking on the phone and truly getting to know each other. The physical attraction came later. And honestly, Rachel believes it’s much easier that way when the physical connection comes last.

As the relationship deepened, Rachel and Caleb talked on the phone about everything, even personal things that she would never have thought about discussing if they were face-to-face.  They spoke about having children.  She shared with him that she planned to save her first kiss for her wedding day.  The friendship gradually blossomed into a courtship. 

A few months after they started dating, Rachel flew to New York to attend one of Caleb’s football games. He picked her up at the airport, and they visited Niagara Falls. There, he rented a horse-drawn carriage, got down on one knee, and proposed. Afterward, they went to the game—where Caleb scored a touchdown in more ways than one!

From the time they started dating to the day they got married, about a year had passed—but Rachel and Caleb had been friends for several years before that. Now, Rachel encourages other women, especially those in their late thirties who are still waiting. The wait can feel long, but when the right person comes along, everything can change in an instant. And when you know he’s the one, there’s no need for a long engagement.

Rachel admits there was a season of personal growth before she was ready for a committed relationship. As a child, in high school, and throughout college, she struggled with low self-esteem. Yet she always believed that God had a plan for her life. To overcome the emotional battles she faced, she knew she needed a deeper revelation of God’s love. She began confessing His love over her life and reminded herself of it daily.  One day, while reading her Bible, she was reflecting on the phrase “the two shall become one.” She told God that didn’t make sense to her. In that moment, she felt Him respond back: “I don’t deal in addition—I deal in multiplication.”  Then she thought, 1 x 1 = 1.  If you have half a person and half a person, you’re going to get a quarter of a person in a relationship.  Rachel explains, “When you're not two whole people in Him, your weaknesses make you exponentially worse. There was a certain place I had to come to within myself—and a certain place Caleb had to reach in himself—before we were ready to come together. I’m so grateful for that process.”

Rachel sees faith as a vital factor in the strength and success of a relationship. She often reminds others, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Romans 10:17). She says, “If you go to God first for that word, you’ll have faith for the entire relationship—and whatever comes your way, you’ll be ready to handle it.”  Rachel and Caleb have walked through deep trials. Their toddler tragically drowned several years ago. Later, Rachel became pregnant with twins, but due to a genetic issue, one of the babies passed away just three weeks after birth.  “The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy,” Rachel says, “but because of the faith we have in our marriage—and because we know that God designed us to be together—He will carry us through anything.” She adds, “Faith changes everything. And when you have faith for your marriage, no one can take that away from you.”

And what about that long-awaited first kiss? On their wedding day, when the time finally came, Caleb asked God how he should lovingly minister that moment to his new bride.  He gently kissed Rachel on both cheeks, then on her forehead, and finally on her lips. To Rachel, it was breathtaking, tender, and deeply meaningful—just as she had always imagined it would be, because they kept God at the center of their relationship.

Rachel and Caleb's wedding day